


Does mother know?

by LindaMaceMichalik



Series: The Usurper [1]
Category: Call Me By Your Name (2017), Call Me by Your Name - André Aciman
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-29
Updated: 2019-01-29
Packaged: 2019-10-19 01:18:34
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 622
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17591996
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LindaMaceMichalik/pseuds/LindaMaceMichalik
Summary: Call me by your name.  Annella's (Elio's mother's) response to her very sad son's question - 'does mother know?'





	Does mother know?

**Author's Note:**

> I haven't searched for this as a small story, but guess it must have been written already! Still had to add it - a dribble? :).
> 
> First lines from Andre Aciman's 'Call me by your name'

"Does Mother know?" I asked. I was going to say suspect but corrected myself.  
"I don't think she does." His voice meant, But even if she did, I am sure her attitude would be no different than mine.

======

Ah but Sammy, I knew, I knew it from the beginning!

How could I not know - he my brother - you my beau?

And it was mutual, though you and Adam never spoke. Of that I am sure.

Such a beautiful dance of glances between you two. You think I didn't feel the rippling shiver run across your shoulder whenever he walked into the room - and me sat decorously beside you? You think I didn't hear his breath catch whenever I spoke of you?

It was love of Adam that we had in common. I loved you for it. If he saw you as a good man, worthy of his love, then of course I could grow to be your wife. You are an honourable, kind, loving man and I never minded that I was not your first, dearest love.

And when Adam took his life, finally unable to face up to what he was but couldn't be, when he left us so young, so shortly after our wedding, then I knew, knew my husband understood, shared the depths of my grief. Never to see your children, never to be an uncle to the children of the man he was forbidden by tradition to love, that was almost the cruellest cut of all.

Elio has the look of Adam about him. When our beautiful boy was born you named him Elio, but you saw Adam. It was in your eyes, that cloudy softness, that sad caress of your child. You would have loved any child we had but Elio has always received such tenderness from us both.

Elio - oh child - I've watched you so long. Toddler's steps, thumped piano keys, tangled hair and frantic passions! My dear you are my brother reborn!

I saw you choose Him from a photograph - a blonde, handsome jew with such a sweet smile, so I persuaded your father to take him as our summer intern. Oliver stole your heart before he knew to steal yours. I knew before he did!

To watch you both, such shy men in that eternal dance, faltering mis-steps, determined lack of interest - I saw your father, I saw my brother! How did you not see my lips quirk, not notice my eyes slide across the two of you? I used my cigarette well and learnt the Muvistars 'Later!' to cover my heart.

Star of David, worn for Him! Squirming in your seat as you sat, such a scared loving smile on his face that morning at breakfast, the day after the door slammed in the middle of the night.

Oh my darling child. I knew! I knew to be here to catch your soul as it plummeted, my frail, brave dove! You had the courage to be the knight that spoke out his love and I would not let you fall, if ever my memory of Adam was worth the freight of my heart, I was not letting you fall as he fell. Never again!

My attitude is no different to Samuel's - it is for love that we live and pure love is never to be despised, denigrated, shut away; never meant to be decried as dirty, unnatural. Who knows the mysteries of the soul? Heraclitus - your Oliver should have studied Plato!

So yes, Mother knows, Mother cries away from you all, but I will smile with you and I will hold my darling men close into my heart and I, like you, hope one day to include the Cauboi into our family's embraces.

===


End file.
